A man is out in
the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly
three weeks since he's eaten anything besides what he could forage
and he's been
reduced to sleeping in caves and under trees. One afternoon he
comes upon an old
mansion in the woods. It has vines covering most of it and the
man can't see any other buildings in the area. However, he sees
smoke coming
out of the chimney implying someone is home.
He knocks on the door and an old man answers, with a beard almost
down to the
ground. The old man squints his eyes and says "What do you want?"
The man says "I've been lost for the past three weeks and
haven't had a decent meal
or sleep since that time. I would be most gracious if I could have a
meal and sleep in
your house for tonight"
The old Chinese man says "I'll let you come in on one condition:
You cannot mess
around with my granddaughter"
The man,
exhausted and hungry readily agrees, saying "I promise I won't
cause you any
trouble. I'll be on my way tomorrow morning."
The old Chinese man counters "Ok, but if I do catch you then
I'll give you the three
worst chinese torture tests ever known to man."
"Ok, Ok" the man said as he entered the old house. Besides,
he thought to himself,
what kind of woman would live out in the wilderness all her life?
Well, that night, when the man came down to eat (after showering),
he saw how
beautiful the granddaughter was. She was an absolute pearl, and
while he had
only been lost three weeks, it had been many,many months without
companionship.
And the girl had only seen the occasional monk besides her grandfather
and well, they both couldn't keep their eyes off each other throughout
the meal.
That night, the man snuck into the girls' bedroom and they had quite
a time, but
had kept the noise down to a minimum. The man crept back to his room
later that night
thinking to himself, "Any three torture tests would be worth it
after that
experience."
Well, the next morning the man awoke to a heavy weight on his chest.
He opened
his eyes and there was this huge rock on his chest. On the rock was
a sign
saying "1st Chinese torture test: 100 lb rock on your chest".
"What a lame
torture test" the man thought to himself as he got up and
walked over
to the window. He opened the shutter and threw the rock out.
On the backside
of the rock is another sign saying "2nd worst Chinese torture
test: Rock tied
to right testicle". The
man, seeing the rock was too far out the window to be grabbed, jumps
out the
window after the rock.
Outside the window is a third sign saying "3rd worst Chinese
torture test: Left testicle
tied to bedpost". |
| |
 |
|
