I have the flue, and I don't hesitate to say that it's in its most evil form. Not that I'm running a high fever - I'm not. And that is precisely why I call this the flue in its most evil form. I have an annoying cough, a sore throat, a pain in my back, a pounding headache, and I'm imcapable of concentrating on just about anything (writing this digression really is quite a challenge) - and then I have this slight, slight fever. If only my temperature had been way up where I could really call myself ill, I could have called in sick and stay at home without feeling bad about it. As it is now, I go to work, and try to look as though I'm okay. I get a lot of comments on my cough, because it sounds reaaaaally bad. In my experience, it's only beaten by a slim margin by the cough I had earlier this year when I was down with a serious lung infection (believe it or not - usually I'm never ill). To tell the truth - however embarrassing - what I'm suffering from is actually not the flue. It's the same thing I had earlier this year, when I quit smoking. Yes, that's right - if you're a smoker, and you need to be well for the next year or so, whatever you do, do not, I repeat, do NOT quit smoking. It makes you ill. I didn't know this when I quit smoking, and I don't think a lot of people do, but I started coughing very soon after I had my last cigarette. And it just got worse and worse. I presume my body realized that I'd stopped poisining it, and having realized years and years ago that there was no point in trying to get this poison out of my system as long as I just kept feeding it more of the stuff (I never were ill much. Maybe all the tar created some sort of protective layer or something?), it jumped at the chance when nothing bad had entered it for a couple of weeks. Now was the time to get rid of all the tar and other nasty things I've forced in my lungs and wherever else it may have ended up along the way, for the past ... uhm... 19 years or so. So, my cough got worse and worse, then I started aching all over, my breathing started to sound like a hiss, and along came a slight fever - which suddenly jumped as high as it could after a couple of months of just feeling generally bad. That's when I went to see my doctor. He took some blood samples, told me that my immune system was less than half as strong as it should be, gave me some antibiotics, and told me that since I'd quit smoking I could expect to be ill a good deal more for the next year or so. The reason: Quitting smoking ruins your immune system...

That's when I swore to myself that if I ever started smoking again, it would be for good. I was NOT going to go through all that coughing and what have you ever again. But I did intend to stay smoke-free though. And the anti-biotics helped. After a couple of weeks I started coughing less. I took a lot of vitamin C, Echinacea, and whatever else I could think of that might help strengthen my immune system, and in the end, I got the reward for being a good girl and quitting smoking: I stopped coughing, my immune system got almost back to it's normal operational level, and all the usual side effects of quitting smoking (better taste buds, better-looking skin, etc. etc.) started showing. All was good.

Later in the year, a lot of things started happening in my personal life - sorrows, stress, and in general very few good things. The side effect? Make a wild guess. Yes, that's right - I started smoking again. I kicked myself for taking up such an unhealthy habit again, but there I was - in the trap once again. And I clearly remembered my earlier experience with quitting smoking. As I said, never again! But then, something unexpected happened: I started coughing again! In spite of not quitting. Once again, I was coughing, and it got worse and worse. That's where I am today - en route to see my doctor. I figure that this time around I probably started coughing because my body was so happy to have finally gotten rid of all the poison, and this time, there is no way it will let the tar-covering get the upper hand. My body has had enough! So in spite of everything, I'm quitting again. I have a strong feeling that my body will torture me till I go in my grave, if I don't. But I'm equally sure that as soon as the nicotine has been absent for a couple of weeks, perhaps less this time, my body will start getting really serious about getting everything cleansed out - my lungs are going to look like an ad for cleansing products before my body is satisfied - and I will get worse untill that whole process is over. Oh, sigh...

The moral of all this: Never start smoking in the first place - and if you are already stuck on the ciggies, and haven't suffered any nasty side effects so far, don't even consider quitting. Unless you're a masochist, that is. I think I am one...

Oh - by the way - any suggestions about remedies that might improve or strengthen my immune system, are more than welcome

All writings copyright 1991-2002, Monique Marquard

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