Liber 48
Introduction.
This is not my aethyr records straight from my diaries. As I had no literary
ambitions when I did the work, I see no reason why I should pain anyone
with incomplete sentences and swapping between norwegian and english,
when I could edit them for sake of comprehension. The editing is minimal,
anyone reading my diaries would agree to my choice, insofar they enjoy
comprehensiveness.
Briefly on my history before this work started.
Born 02 May 1963
Read the Bible at the age of 15 (1978), and became so insulted by the
contradictions therein, that I decided to be an atheist, and accepted
the totally materialistic world view.
1986: The voice of no sound came over me, and when it left I discovered
that I had become excessively interested in astrology. I studied this
for a year and continued with other esoteric studies, which still continues.
We also discussed all kinds of metaphysical matter at the art academy
I was attending- philosophy and qabalah.
1990: Gets in march an introduction to Banishing rituals and standard
rites by a witch that also was member of the cOTO. Prepares for magick
by a 3 months period of LBR and Resh. Takes the name Laiad. Gets initiated
in the cOTO.
June - Oct. 1990
Starts up fully with examining all the constellations in my horoscope
ritually. Partakes also in rituals together with the Nidhug gang. Enters
yesod. Continues with work on elements, planets and zodiac signs. Continues
with works on Thoth and then ritually the ATU`s. I get plenty of lections
and feels very well guided.
Starts scrying in elemental worlds and gets more lections on qabalah and
related material. Practices Liber Samekh and gets into very exalted states.
Nov-Dec. 1990
Things peak and I get in touch with powers that are far too powerful
for me, but I dont understand that or I simply cant stay away- I meet
Aiwaz who names me Zoel Dana Kaim/Caim and gives certain formulaes more
powerful that anything I have been into before. Continues spiritvision
and starts with godform assumptions.
Everything works and all Gods appear in strength which I havent heard
other tell. Exceptional Hadit, Maat and Khephra workings. I am in vision
shown and executes an impossible ritual and ends up facing Nuit in Atziluth
or even beyond. Its like a blue water mirror, but the trance and vision
cant be properly described. I now know why I was shown this, and its because
its the UniCulum.
Jan 1991
Our King dies and the 1st gulf war starts and I who had decided that
I wouldnt start with enochian magick, because my work was progressing
so well, are again instructed in another rite in a spiritvision and then
the Thundervoices breaks loose. The Book of the EM or Dor Os ma thil is
dictated 25-27 jan. I immediately respond by taking up enochian magick
and starts interviewing diverse spirits to build up the glossary needed
to translate.
Feb 1991
Enters Hod. I am burning for two months.
I used to scry elemental worlds to get things progressing, I experience
now the elemental worlds was consumed in an apocalypse , and I also felt
they was sealed or absorbed by pure qliphotic energy. I completely lost
my ability to scry or having visions for two months and when things had
cleared up, I felt I was scrying in another field or another dimension.
What happened was that I left the astral level for good, and this is something
that matters in sorting my experiences from others. On the mental level
there are far fewer things to be seen. Its simply more abstracted, or
so it seems to me. And my aethyr records have thus become reasonly abstract.
This kind of level is kept throughout the part that I call the olive and
also further but changes are then slowly prepared.
A note that I shoud have added in the intro; A year before this work,
I was scrying a lot of elemental spheres, which I accessed by using the
lesser ritual of the hexagram - there I just used one of the elemental
hexagrams at a session. The visions that I had there was far more elaborate
and I talked with beings I could see, hear and almost smell too. Those
beings wasnt enochian but of the gnostic heritage as the names used to
call them was those used by AC and the GD.
When I received the Book of the EM and entered Hod, I was confronted by
lots of hellfire, and I literally saw the elemental worlds was consumed
in an apocalypse when I tried them then, and I also felt they was sealed
or absorbed by pure qliphotic energy. I completely lost my ability to
scry or having visions for two months and when things had cleared up,
I felt I was scrying in another field or another dimension. What happened
was that I left the astral level for good, and this is something that
matters in sorting my experiences from others. On the mental level there
are far fewer things to be seen. Its simply more abstracted, or so it
seems to me. And my aethyr records have thus become reasonly abstract.
July 1991
Enters Netzach. Understands the similarity between the progress I am
doing and the aethyrs and decides to start using them.
My standard procedure:
Banishings, then the Call of the Aethyr and also the sigils of the governors
together with the vibrating of their names.
I understand quickly that the symbols I see or anything else within the
aethyr are "knots" to be unveiled. Symbolism are the means to
access the ideal frequenzies these aethyr presents, and when I am finished
the aethyr just seems to be an empty place that radiates a single and
unison current.
If I lose focus or nothing happens, I usually call an governor to get
back in track.
This procedure is used for these ten first aethyrs. When the aethyrs later
on gets larger, I find it fit to call a governor at a single session.
The rule I have followed is: Do some work, lean back and sense how it
works over time to truly be perceptive about the range of its powers,
so that one knows what one deals with before continuing.
PART ONE : The Olive.
"" denotes always things said by the voice of the aethyr
..... means time passing.
15 Aug 1991.
TEX:
While reading the Call, the atmosphere gathers heavily. Its oppressive
and gives me the feeling of unworthyness and guilt. It ignites thoughts
around my own direction and what am I supposed to make out of myself.
Its the aura of Judgement.
The aethyrs opens; I see an open field lit by moonshine. The great ones
are having a good time. Division is present.
"The Angels divide you".
I see a pair of shoes put out for me. "They are made for walking".
.... There is no reason for not getting started. The shoes are given as
the Pantacle was given me. The shoes seems to be my only weapon against
any beasts of the fields.
I see the Dragon arise .... fiery and hateful. And I feel the envy of
the great ones, those that are able to unfold themselves.
I go on and gets my shoes in use. I go East. The landscape is wrapped
up. Everything is packed in some way. Just like if the artist Christo
had been there before me. Everything is hidden from anything else. I find
Taoagla sitting there with a wand with a crystal top. He is pendling it
and comes with a little speach in enochian. ---- He also have a cup in
the other hand, that is nearly flat. The communiation is emotional, and
he represent the oppression of the father and God to me, - he keeps me
bound up in awe. It darkens around us and we are quiet for a long time.
He seems as satisfied as me and doesnt want to say or do anything more,
so I pass on to the
South:
The landscape turns red, more open, it lightens up, but the light turns
fierce as a warning of a coming war.
"This is the place of dreams and longing" I reflect upon the
nature of desire....
Gemnimb says "Endorsed with the spangle of him". He gives me
a little spangle that is golden but the hole is dark. "Choose ye
well what ye desire, the glory or the hole."
The landscapes moves and waves in disgust as pleasure and makes funny
sounds.
"And he was not seen there again, and be welcome to the
west: "
I go and face the west, but cant see anything, everything is missing,
this must mean some wall, some veil ..?
Suddenly he frames me in a nasty hug and he recites his message to me
---
The pain leaves and the west clears up in blue, becomes single and clear,
and I see through it.
The North grows in beauty and makes impressions on me. It tempts me and
promises me things. But when I really look closer, it falls down and dulls
out. Because its not what it promises. A promise is something which creates
visions of expectancy in the mind of the beholder of the promise. The
promised things will always be something else.
" So fall down; you son of sin. Leave your garments here. The Judgement
will be executed in the midst of the aethyr."
All the governors shows up, and they gather around me and start walking
around me, widdershins, faster and faster till they are becoming a storm
around me, a whirlwind.
I awake from the oppression of this aethyr and revolts. This curse is
not mine, AWAY ! The Judgement is mine and I take it. I lift my head and
sees the aethyr laid bare and open.
---(words spoken)
I receive the Knife, its blade is classically shaped, as a hunters knife,
and its blade is clearly shaped a hawks wing. And on the end of the shaft
is the spangle inlaid.
I arise from the aethyr into the open air above.
I feel very satisfied and happy over having lost this barrier that this
aethyr presented to me.
Comments:
This aethyr I feel presented the path from Malkuth to Yesod. The fear
of the unknown and the fearing of the awesome powers versus the inner
will and motive that will move one onwards into the mysteries. I have
seen several people do this aethyr, and also heard many do this. There
are many who quit enochian after having done this without saying anything.
The choice I understand is set forth, moves deeply seated attitudes. Are
you able to find the warrior/explorer instinct or are your method a different
one ? The other option is mystisism and methods like Taoism and strict
golden path.. It also must be said that the DAOX are connected to this
area, and if someone experiences very much and chaotic matter, the DAOX
shall be of help to clear the path. See the I Ged.
I have forgot all the details about the governors, and it may be just
as well to let it sleep. What stand out now as then was the cross structure
of the aethyr. That there were two types of desire (south-North) and two
types of restriction/fear/obstacles (East/west). These solved themselves
by the last action in the centre of the aethyr.
As I regard this aethyr as corresponding to the passage from Malkuth to
Yesod, the period where I experienced this was summer 1990. And it was
simple; I had begun ritual magick, but I had not developed any visions
on any astral levels, so I still felt like I was outside the mysteries
and was awaiting an awakening. And it came. It felt like my reality or
rather my vision of reality disappeared for 14 days or so, and I was in
an undefined darkness which was fearladen but also promising. Lastly a
fine breeze of a current showed up and reality was simple, and I was able
to skry, and had attained enough sensitivity to get much more out of the
rites I did. The current presented in the end of TEX was pretty similar
to that optimistic breeze i had experienced before.
16 Aug 1991
RII
I also call the Governors Vastrim, Odraxti and Gomziam by their sigils.
The Call creates an open atmosphere of Joy and playfulness. It wasnt
as strong as Tex, but still very noticeable. Here is a heavenly beauty,
and I feel my mercy is won by just coming here. I again see an open field
with rejoicing beings. And I again see the Dragon; but this time without
any feelings.
I go to the East where I am stopped by a soft, translucid veil that covers
the Starnight. The veil is pierced and I see the void to be the essential
light. Oh beauty; I know I cant pass it as I am, but truly I will become
this clearness. The veil is opened more and it glimmers and tempts me.
I cant pass this before I have passed the other tests.
Vastrim: "Before the void is entered, there is nay ...(unreadable
t .. s - tests?) The howling Earth stand still as it seems. Vacant is
the doors of Heaven and pityful are the denying corpses of the enemys
shrouding."
Goes to the south:
Here I find another void and a triangle in yellow (apex up) is shown me.
I hear a short speach in enochian; ....
" The fire Triangle is the course of the spirit".
I find this void to be dull and absorbing. There are no angels here and
the void here is just a void among others. I only find an black absorbing
silence here.
And in the centre of the aethyr:
Odraxti is coming. She has got a round crystal as my own. She rubs it
gently by both hands and the more she touches it, the more it shines.
I eventually understand the core of the crystal to be Hadit; the eye,
that expresses the content and perfect being. Her hands are the sinister
and dextrous; the left and right hand, that symbolizes all polarity and
duality that manifests as qualities in person and the rubbing of the crystal
are these forces play and work in aligning repulsion and attraction in
a mutually excluding ritual that brings forth the essence of the void;
that which endure the fights and all temporary desires of the right and
left hands ways.
Then I go to the west: Here I see a large Hand raging like a flame. It
moves like its trying to catch something but its simply creating a ball
there.
I hear a speach ---
The hands has allpower, because they are the creator and the frame`s representants
on earth. They execute the powers that once made them as their own vehicles.
Let the orphan go to hell. (as spiritual orphans has truly lost that connection
which should be impossible to lose, there is no excuse for having lost
a spiritual Mother and Father.)
I go to the North: There is someone litting a match; It sparks wildly
and burns brightly and dies. "Life is short". ..." And
from the west comes he whose hands are held over the eyes and his eyes
are wild shining".
Gomziam: Lengthy Speach ---
He is a small hard man, but bright and light shining.
In the middle of the aethyr is a fountain sparkling from .. a bottle.
"Here they are as many as they should be.
Free will is not as you believe it to be.
There is no Judgement here.
But the division is made for the howling dogs; be thou him instead and
the adventure finishes."
The aethyr silences and the last thing I see is the immaterial division
line standing erect.
I dont feel finished, but I know I am. Everything have become indefinite;
just maybe and possible.
Comments: Again the crossform of partials and incompletes, which joins
to make the perfection.
The picture of Odraxti could be simplified even more; into a triangle
with apex up. The right corner symbolizing the powers of the right (hand)
and vice versa, and the top point the vanishing point that is made out
of their reconcialiation process.
The picture of the triangle could also be seen as the painting of the
path, the top point again being the vanishingpoint - made out of the perspective
lines from the right and left corner. The right and left being the finite
and the concrete while the vanishing point being the aim.
Salutation to all points of the triangle.
As they depend upon eachother, the vanishingpoint is determined by the
position of the two concrete ones.
The currents of the aethyr corresponded to my experience of yesod - not
very serious, not very lofty, but a place to learn a lot as one is sensitive
and fast inspired in any direction. The powers it inspires is the foundation
or prime movers of personality, basic selfconfidence and instinctual behaviour.
-----
Obviously I wasnt satisfied and I had to check it out once more.
RII : 19 Aug.
" Oh ye that dwells in the lower aires, be filled with the might
of others. Beware the intersections. The disposure of might is not connected
with the quality of the seen. So come on in and face this aire for the
last time. The sharpening of sicles is heard. Oh ye that dwells in the
lower aires; we prepare for you.
The Dragon appears with his dinosaur body and crocodile head and wings
of might and hate.
"we love you, we love your hate ! And the name of him that fell is
QUENIX and the other name is HONS BARATZ."
I see Vastrim is holding the shining globe, but it seems that I have
not weight enough to be held down to this aire, I am slowly rising above
into the blank air.
"Fight and be proud" Odraxti kisses me goodbye and she gives
me the task of the void, and I become fiery and proud.
What about the fountain I saw ? I ask. " It marks the beginning of
the nest stage".
I say goodbye.
Comments: This surprised me, despite that I already had my experiences
with Hod I hadnt really no concrete idea what the fallen really meant
at that time, but I sure found out. I dont think it was very relevant
to the aethyr, just to me.
20 Aug.
BAG
The Governors: Tabnixp, Fokisni, Oxlopar.
(I must have used dictaphone on the other aires as I here found a note
saying " Forgot to turn it on" - The record was written afterwards
after memory. Obviously the record is very short.)
Reading the call was weird, and left me dubious. Maybe it was sufficient
or not. The vibrating of the governor names gave clearly very different
energies.
I get into the aire quickly, and its dim, foggy and greyish. I see the
Dragon immediately, in the jungle. I see the many had become the many,
and that the aire was filled up with plenty. I find a little opening in
the jungle and find an obelix. And upon it was written in angelic letters,
nearly unreadable, but I sorted it out:
B A G
X E N
X G F
A P A
There are no clues anywhere. The jungle is silent and oppressive. The
vegatation is grey rather than green, and the atmosphere contains the
enemy of the Child. The enemy is the preserver of this state, he is also
its own destroyer, balancing the destruction with conserving in order
to create the most of both. I face a large black figure that disappears.
I walk around, spot a palace in south, but it seems as insignificant as
everything else upon closer examination.
Suddenly I am surrounded by four large persons. I get four words that
makes a ritual:
ESIA : the Brothers (or rather one of them)
ESIA : the Brothers
TANIX : The judge (and his formulation)
BOROS : The enemy.
The silence gets terribly stern. The pressure increases. And the anger
is finally released and soon I am in absolute war with the enemy. The
shrouding fog is cut and destroyed by all means. And I see the Landscape
become slashed up by a great axe.
My enemy was inside, I partaked unwillingly in creating this deception.
I find myself in the Asana of the sitting God. But now my form have become
black and scaly, and burning. Draconic. It reflects light sharply, but
it responds to a infernal place. The enemy have become duly exposed. And
I am become him.
Earlier I saw the Linea media ( my guide; being the extracted and raffined
immaterial prinsciple of division), but in a horizontal version, at the
level of my eyes. Now it comes in a vertical too, and in this asana I
am passing an abyss.
"Arise You whom perfect crosses are".
My body falls and my consciousness about the cross arises.
Some words in enochian.
Comments: The rite given is the essence of the process that once led
me from Yesod to Hod. The Brothers are Set & Horus or any other representant
of the left and the right. The warrior of righteousness was the position
of mine, but I see now that this formula is very general and as such fits
to any role taken. The enemy is the shadow, him that represents the opposite
of ones choices and preferences.
The judge (Tahuti) is the turningpoint and the enemy is exposed. And to
me it was the Dracon.
The warrior completes his world by making it his, creating it in his liking.
In this way the enemy is slain, he has no way to go and is gone. But as
the riches of the warrior consists of qualities; these qualities fails
without having opposites. (Thou that shivers in the presence of the Prince
of darkness lives verily full time.)
The success of the warrior is also his death. Without enemy, no warrior.
The enemy became inversed and I found him inside. I had to take back all
the projections I had made and feel their lifeless shadows. And it burned.
This aethyr corresponded also well to that late period of mine in yesod.
It was quite frustrated, I didnt know how to get further, and language
became such an annoying teaser as I was moved overmuch and even transformed
by hearing flattering or critique, I simply lacked the objective look
at things and started desire that.
The chakhra connected with this is muladhara - the anger.
ZAA:
As I read the call, the consuming fire begins its gathering ways. Sulky
fieryness, repentance, anger and disappointment. I feel the Dragons burning
breath.
"Contempt is the vehicle of living beings. Come gather thine burning
garments. There are wages for the unlearned."
(Hm- must be experience: )
.......... .....
I see Dracon as a mirror of myself.
As a Choir we are opening our mouths and shoots fire, and the aethyr opens
fully and shows a torus form (doughnutform)
SAZIAMI:
Himal se baram an keti var. And the curse of the words is taken back.
Sekil nos parajo.
He lingers me and shows me what I really have got. What cold and stern
asteriods we really are. Gently he cuts the aching tissue; the fruit of
the olive. And the barren and neuter reality of myself and the aire is
exposed. And I am here as an not present observer.
.... opens ... opens...
A black scorched and cracked earth is displayed, light gleams alienated
reflecting itself throughout in scarce measure. The Fire has gone before
me, and left it all black.
And I am what I am.
I am as cold as the desert.
I am as the desert, but I am cursed because I am destinated to walk through
without ever touching it.
As I speak i feel some drops of water falling upon me, giving relief.
I start to think thoughts like that of "Its not so bad after all".
MATHULA:
Hamian noc damon seki jo ok baratz naleti om dari, sek omistral ath bara.
OP neki ro tani san dores altari godinal ap senio vat derim. Co beria
ne thil as beri don terio kati sno, botasa ap peria na keti on.
And the Landscape is nearly silent, but now wild desert winds are raging
through.
Everything is just its ownness. There is no real communication. Each man
is just his own world. Two meets and and believe they are communicating,
but they are just exchanging sameness, and enjoying this.(1)
"The Fire sigil is broken down with laughter.
Then see that everything is touched. Fill your world, be aware, touch
everything, be absolute".
I then start smelling water: so I call upon ORPANIB:
And he appears as a peculiar shaking electric being. Most determined.
" Ogg Pani nastho dan derio mahetstal nos da niki OB da lati eni
va
cor da metha pojonto lebato seki orm
Mos da veti eg la vani sen darumni eta ron tata keiin soko ath leta pirim
end og la el dani (zol)
Gotham arg denik ven tosinal es daki on. Ori on na eti os keti na ke on.
And he is strong, he is deadly strong. I am shaking from within, this
is perplexing, I feel like a stone which is shook from within. How can
I possibly avoid to get broken? And i cant. The blood runs from the stone;
the alienated enemy. I break up and fall apart, I open up, I am a living
chalice, I am speechless, but so grateful. (3)
Orpanib doesnt say anything more, neither do I, but I have hardly ever
in my life been so grateful for anything like this experience. We sit
in peaceful communion breathing this new reality for some time.
The vision of my chalice enters with clarity. Its a shell, a cowshell
(i think its called that in english too). Its shape is that of the Omega,
and a cup can hardly be more open than this nearly flat thing.
I*I*I**I*III*I*I*I*
Comments:
Zasiami is the one behind the scorching fire, its supposed to remove the
remains of any obsessed consciousness from the levels below. Its the standard
of any governor to dress off the former consciousness to fully initiate
into the new currents, but Saziami does indeed stress this part.
(1) Here should be a lot of talk that should be pure solipsism. I sure
thought it out fully, but I didnt write it. And whats the the idea of
writing out the philosophy of solipsism ? Its a line of thought that is
upheld by a particular point of view and certain conditions. The truth
is - yes we are alone, no we are not alone. The difference is mainly the
feeling. And emotions; the water is what truly makes the connection between
one isolated thing and another.
However this zone is vital to get as pure as possible, because here is
thinking done to a pure thing, here is no personal or emotional matter
that would hinder the thinker in thinking anything particular. Integrity
is achieved here, though not the the rewards of integrity.
Black Brotherhood.
When reading Crowley, his use of this term may lead to some misunderstanding.
There are two types, One is in the prinsciple and belongs to the black
school of magick.
Him who sees "I am that I am", keeps the speeches on solipsism,
is the one who sees the prinscipal separateness in its exclusiveness.
Its a wrong paradigm because of its exclusiveness, as one is likely to
believe that the universe is also united in its way, but the latter view
can also be purified untill it reaches its totality. The workable paradigm
of which humans uses to live in the the combination of these extremes.
The black brother is here the one which lives by the fundational truths
of the Black Pillar of Aub and dares to see the gruesome and cold mechanic
of our world, and his death is swift, because when he has seen the fundament,
the fundament will work for him as he works it and it will push him further
onwards and show him the pleasant energetic result of the machinery. For
he has done no errors, and will become a white brother, and then continue
to change robe after consciousness. And wasnt the Holy Spirit rather nude?
The Other Black Brother is the one who doesnt manage to see the alleged
gruesome and cold mechanic, but hides it by putting upon a blindfold and
pretends from thereon. This happens, and is the human Black Brother in
practice. They may continue long and develope new errors to balance the
first ones, but bit by bit, they corrupt and the way it goes isnt ideal,
but criminal.
The black brothers in spiritsystems like enochian are there as representants
for the first type, and are the agents to look up when one notices there
is trouble in the system. Its not strange they are feared.
(3) The experience with Orpanib is a very important one. To be able
to lend out ones thinker to the later HGA, the thinker has be crushed
and set free. This work results in the unusually fantastic situation coming
later with the HGA, that one suddenly experiences oneself to sit thinking
pure information. And it was the point of death for the Black Brother
of this level.
22 Aug 91
DES
As I read the call I notice the strange energy, Light and sparkling.
And as I move towards it, the enchantment and thrill is approaching. Its
got potential of the optimistic kind.
It could be very different from the others with regards to the form.
The moon stands high above a well lit field. The night is young. The field
is cold and dry, but noone is freezing.
....
New death symbols ahead. The way is blocked.
...
It gathers around me. It becomes a frame.
POPHAND:
"Saying the least what you should expect; is the threshold for the
outlaws.
Oh be thou what thou have prayed to become".
"The starseed is glowing, small as it may seem to be.
But potential is potential and Unknown."
"Noco parim noco kesiatris den tales ab veni or da keni. Oz zelo
nosima as keri no ta pejin. Dol quasi ath."
The way opens, but it is as death, as its to some black hole. (1)
" To rejoice to the highest is exactly as it should be. But for the
sake of union is there set up four gates that is not in the service of
the highest. You have got them. So be careful, work well, and matter will
be explained"
....
A new path is taken in use. It might as well be black, because for the
light itself, everything will be black.
NIGRANA:
I recognize this figure immediately from a dream I had some days before.
He is exeptional beautiful and graceful, still strange in his ways, is
clad with robe and something similar to an inca-cap.
"Ath Peni:
Sa noco, geria ala me lo artekin dos ath eni. Ob stal keni noc arameni
dol ta oki ma. OR Pani nastho sekia."
Nigrana starts circumambulating around a virgin centered and seated. She
is all in white and seems nearly lifeless, or like an marble statue. "
Fi karja nos talia keniano nos pereth oth varuna neki jo asak veni orm."
So what is this word ? Virgin ? Somehow its a symbol of the highest. -
Hoor pa Kraat.
"Godinal means the matter of speed. (2)
Forunt er de helliges dom. Således er de andre spist.
The joy of matter is the joy of the spirit."
" Orri ga noc da mon od tonug da stal keria hos tak ani evi na lop
arteri gos ta Peni. Keres saija osta osp ta da leta nesikarant.
BAZCHIM:
"And voluntary is not the species differentiation. Falling on four
feet is a good ambition."
Bazchim is really a light being.
"So eat yourself, snake (3) Pursue, go forth go foth, find the black
child. And beware the excesses thereof is hard to restrict. Fornication.
Bazchim is glowing more and more, he starts filling me with daylight.
Suddenly the tower rages and it is as my wand. The Lingam tower is exposing
itself, shining brightly. There is a a small crystal chalice within it
containing the seed ! And I see the Tower disappear beneath me as I am
arising above the aire and starts seeing the true daylight radiating therefrom.
Comments:
(1) The stone consciousness that I experienced in Zaa, as that of the
enemy, have now collapsed , imploded and become an open black hole of
potential. A channel. Its the chalice in work. Open and conceiving. The
circumambulation of Nigrana is the shaping of the potential.
From the beyonds of death, from the land of maybe, is the frame set to
bring forth the next step, in the figure of the the new moon, the white
virgin. And it leeds to the state of the seed that also an expression
of potential, but which is definitely potential.
(2) Godinal is an expression used in DOzmt. As I see it now, it can refer
to two things; the matter of speed is clearly not the matter of Light,
it goes slower and it couldnt take the speed of light without becoming
transformed and burnt. Or it just refers to its motion in the nuclear
state. This will also be a far lower speed. We can any way say that this
expression relates to the restriction which matter is compared to light.
Matter is a consequence of coldness and entropy.
Matter is a contraction whose staticness is bound between lust and angst.
Too much of one of the two is magickally potent.
(3) This serpent is refering to the Ouroboros symbol. The serpent coiling
and biting its tail. I refer to the expression Creatura in Carl Gustav
Jungs "Seven sermons to the dead", part 1, for the best written
expoundation on the relation between the Tao or the inexpressible pleroma
and the serpent/dragon.
Water was the rule of this aethyr and as the level in the chalice increased,
it unnoticingly turned to intoxication.
From the quiet sense of acceptance in this aethyr, Love appeared and started
to grow strong and eventually extatic.
.UTI
31 Aug 91.
As I read the call, the visions of Holy strength and glory appears.
Glory ! A huge gate opens and the Sunny light fills the air with goldglimmering
power meant for the King. I see a hemisphere, a dome shape enveloping
all. And the division line goes through this one too. From there the light
streams out and fills this globe and then the air. The Globe has got a
purity not seen but felt. Its a place for Victory and dance. I am what
I am and what I am is great.
The line appears, it pulsates, glows and sends its arrows of light in
both directions. The line itself is unseen.
The connection between the half globe is not mentioned, but I begin to
understand now.
The dome is the bent line. By bending the line you create the hands which
stretches forth and create the "glass" of the dome of light.
So I see the line of pure division is creating the globe.(1)
"Hoti vaores Keti".
The bending of the line makes one line which it keeps to itself. The line
goes or shines in both directions. The inside and outside is created.
Then I see the landscape, wild and raging mountains, a sunstorm close,
light flickers playfully and joyous around.
"Pereup naki tavieni
koti ra da mesi oth paratz
kesia noc da veni"
MIRZIND
And the waves are rolling over a beach and the sea is alive. Mirzind is
standing there, silent and hard and I ask what to regret?
"The regrets of Fire are Holy to those that have enough to be kept.
Be honest to Fire. Its the way to live.
Mirzind is wearing a strange coat that doesnt close even if looks like
it should. Its of the sea. I guess its him who have got the ability to
create the globe; that is the cup. So I ask him how do you do it?
I understand that the symbol of the Serpent that eats itself is double.
It goes in both directions, upwards and downwards the levels. It is also
made this way to create the chalice. To enclose and fulfill the will.
The wand becomes the cup by eating itself; by turning to itself.
And I see Mirzind as a King, with a great crown, and a kind of nemyss
under.
"The Word is what you believe. Belief is stronger than doubt. Belief
loves itself."
I understand that this conscerns the passing of Hod to Netzach, doubts
are done and belief passes on to the irrational word; the logos; the logical
"el Loco", because the Word has no reason, but Will, and what
MUST be, for the sake of LLLL.
And I become the light, and see the line is an infinite of circles not
seen.
"Beyond the Arch of Doom, the not doomed wait for its doom."
Mirzind says he has done what he can do for me; the pride is in me, the
hate is in me .. i continue.
The line becomes a ball that travels over the sea and finds a new beach...
I call OBVAORS.
The landscape changes, and it continues changing .. it doesnt settle in
a new shape. What is going on ?
A hardness increases..
"Obvaors neki rom - Ton dabi olm matazam"
It seems to be a female Governor, making to living beings a heavenly drug
?
"OBim is the honour of me". She seems very cold. And I recall
the OBim is the 28 lanterns of sorrow- also well connected to the PD that
actually is more in line with the themes here..
I see her clearly now, She is standing still and she is mummified, but
her eyes isnt covered and they are radiating strong and intense sunlight.
" So eat yourself".
And in some sense she represents the cover of another light. She must
be some kind of purification. The light in her grows, it pervades her
embalming; the filthy garments have to be lost.
PANG! And she does.
She threw them off and shot me with her light. And it makes the difference
in me, I am once again the hateful and fierce vehicle of myself.
"And in respect of any selfrespect, shake, shine hard, you bastard.
The glory of the self is your Law. And to radiate and radiate...
She truly is the heart. And she keeps on with her unexpected lesson: "Shine
thou bastard. Thou hast no right to say nay." And I am made speechless
by her extreme power, but I also find it disgusting to be the Sundog.
A beastly machine made to do. A will-less executor of will. But I understand.
Its the vehicle of the will, it will always be closest, and be pervaded
by its light. Its a perfect match, its just the birth of the machinery
that is frightening cold.
" A cold heart radiates even more. It doesnt get affected by its
song or other doing. And I am travelling upon high. Cold."
And I have become the Sun, or maybe rather its motif, or the cock always
observant and shooting where its right. The Earth is beneath me and I
am hanging in the air. (2)
I call RANGLAM.
Its getting darker. A void appears and suddenly it is a complete globe.
Its really what...
I pass into this large globe and I am fading again. But now I assimilates
into this purity which makes the glory I have just seen. And Ranglam kisses
me lightly - into perplexion. I am overwhelmed by this sensitivity, this
blessed goodwill and love. It makes me soft again. The touch of the sensual
air.
He shows me a child; The child of ownness ; own fatality. And yes, he
is clear and ugly as babies are.
New strange images occur; A black box with a cut painted red and shining
teeth.
"The flesh is overcome,
overcome is also the denial of anything, you shouldnt believe. There just
is not room, its just a little place of freedom." I open my eyes
and see the falling seat again. There is nothing above and nothing below.
Just the seat. Then I see a flower with two leaves, touching eachother
like hands, but they eventually reminds about a female genital. Then I
see the sun over the moon, just in the mark of the beast.
"Here is perfect silence".
The air caresses itself, wanting to play and see itself, soft and sweet
joy emanating ever from the division of the united. I see a vertical vesica
shape.
"There is no entrance to the next aethyr".
Comments:
(1) The division line is the personification of Maat. In the play of Nothing
that is :
1 Nothing is
2 Nothing becomes
3 Nothing is not
The prinsciple of division has got its chance of being known in the last
sequel, and it will be as the mask of Maat, She who have got no dimension
whatsoever in her boundless state of Equality and Truth beyond. As part
3 still is nothing, the division in itself is insubstantial, but it makes
the difference and it can be seen. The stretching forth of hands in the
creationing process is also mentioned in chp 2 of DOzmt.
(2) The message and meet with Obvaors was surprising to me. Even if the
light struck hard and convincing, I was also struck by a hardness that
I feel came from an aethyr far above too. The coldness in the casting
of this vehicle were simply from a different reality. But however, when
thats done, I experienced the willingness and the power and the joy of
using it. Its perfect for tending own personal business in the world.
Its made for the execution of will and I think that the casting of such
sunbeast is sure worth lots of concern. Even if one should be adept of
practical magick and all things rains upon one as one wishes, Life will
be better if one were onepointed and beastly enough to just do it instead.
This beast doesnt care of regret. Its someone elses job.
NIA
12 Sept 91
(I also had dificulties with the dictaphone and the record was written
afterwards. I cant recall if there were any enochian speeches, but i would
never have been able to recall them. Maybe there was some, maybe not)
As I read the call a subtle lowkey scream of lust flows horizontally through.
I have to struggle to focus to get inside; I recall the last words of
UTI; "There is no entrance to NIA". NIA is the entrance. ....
I become an entrance entranced.
I see a globe again and this time it becomes the flower with two leaves.
"It is not spoken of the dove here". Instead I get a picture
of a cockerel.
The landscape is not as nice and fertile as I thought it to be. Its lots
of stones here and not so much vegetation. I become filled with this horizontal
scream and I become it. It goes throughout the whole of the landscape
and through my bones and marrow.
ORAKAMIR (Or ak mir => lust and no torment)
I find her standing in the sign of Typhon. (1)
Here; consciousness is like a masturbating female genital. Here is the
flight of the witch within the prostrate extension of Babalon. The flesh
loves the space inbetween itself. An intense desire appears around this
void, this division line. It obeys this void, and it is stirred by this
lust which turns to the unbearable, to agony. It stretches out from this
void and grows in strength spurred by this prinsciple that I recognize
as the Letters ii - is/is not. This mystic contradiction forces the Flesh
to submission and obediance. And the Flesh loves it.
This concept is the exact opposite of the Sword that cuts the air. (knife
use in yesod)
I rave around screaming while my mind finds out that NIA means n ia =>
the voids thruth.and that the letter drun is the root of self, somehow.
KHIALPS
This spirit that I cannot see properly tears off the flesh, the lips,
of me - of consciousness. And the awareness is turned towards the inner
phallic force; the division line within, of the void.
The extension of the line: I become infinitely extended vertically, tall
and thin. Here is found potensial. The line is not flesh but ideal and
have no resistance in extending itself, and then; the extension of this
line is the potensial for the extension of the flesh horizontally.
It feels like a dark breath of air which rushes through the body. This
is of Baphomet, the horn of lust.
SOAGEEL (soa-saviour je our/not El - one => the savior of our one?
It becomes dark and dull. The landscape disappears and and it feels dry
and cold.
My extension collapses. I shrink and become a point in space. And this
point becomes unruly and chaotic. I roam from place to place.
Eventually I feel total. It is dark and there is only me. Strange things
happens, strong energies are released, I feel a hole within. I explode
and implode. I fall into myself in that unbearable orgasmic feeling and
there is darkness. The aethyr is ended.
Comments:
(1) The typhons sign may simply be that of the Priestess - ATU of Gimel
. Not focusing so much on death as union.
I think I have said enough. If any "respected" historicians
should have said anything about this we probably would have that standard
oneliner about fertility religion. This aethyr is explicit, and it will
be, sexual passions are of course not blind; they lead you home faster
than any christian priest would dream they did. And why ? Because your
personal passions embraces your most personal essence. Dont ever believe
a system or a religion can compete with those. Religion without passion
in the flesh as much as in the spirit, is a failure.
Khialps represent the Wand prinsciple here, or the inner word. Together
with the solar beast from UTI, these make up the Wand and Will - on a
personal level.
The Aethyrs from ZAA up to here make up a phase easily distinguised by
its use of the circle. While the aethyrs TEX, RII and BAG were developed
around the cross.
*I**I*I*I*I**I*I*
TOR
30 Sept 91.
As I read the call, an extolled sphere arises which communicates strength
and responsibility. I feel my shadow standing right behind me breathing
on my back.
An aching fire starts burning me. It is dark and I have problems with
understanding whether I am in or not.
Suddenly the imaginary crystal ball flashes up in white light. When I
look closer it seems like a whirlwind. It seems so complete in itself,
and I feel partially inside.
.....
The aethyr seems now all white, but darkness hidden within. It seems prosperous
and poor. The white light is cold and beautiful as snow. It roams howling
around.
"In these moments there are strange minutes, be aware of the surpassing
of time. Fixed with beauty are the angels of time, for in these the howling
have become its own light.
Open, open , open.."
"The Fortress to pass is also a bit of itself."
Strange deeds are shown. Everything seem to protect itself here. The hands
are carressing eachother, closed. . only showing its outer side. Their
secret is beheld. I look further; the one whose hands I see is most known
and most unknown.
A Figure presents himself as RONOAMB and I think thats easy to check.
I call his name and he becomes even stronger in presence.
He opens his hands.
Tiphareth is the secrets of the globe, or the Eye.
The globe becomes suddenly black and pure void.
An Eagle appears, black and mysterious, much like Hermanubis in feeling.
I become this eagle, whose eye is fully open. And I am the receptive organ
able to pass and see this aethyr.
"How should you be used to the currents ? Disgusting are the tales
of him".
The Aethyr is now fully opened, but I realize that its nature is a black
void.
And I fly through this by the grand eaglebody. The large wings waving
in the black void. I see nothing and feels the wings are ever touching
it. But the flight doesnt take off, I am standing still. There is nothing
to fly through. The wings are just moving in relation to the body. Nothing
isnt altered. I must be in the centre. Still.
ONIZIMP:
There is a sudden change. The black void expands and pushes away any remnants
of the white layer that I saw in the beginning. The black void becomes
the light itself. My motion is my own and only measure.
I AM ALONE.
For what reason is my motion needed ? There is ownness and in this is
my onlyness. I am standing still in my own speed. I am fixed. Suddenly
the currents are pulsating, I am my own light, the light pours out of
me, from within. Black light in white light, and white light in black
light. I cannot tell them apart.
"In the storm of the Brothers no one can tell whom they really are"
And I am shaken, I thremble as the silence holds the fight. The nothingness
grows greater, a void in the void. I am cast through my self in a wild
speed. The fixed mode is turned to change. The aethyr shows its power.
And its perplexing and delightful.
ZAXANIN:
A whiteness turns up again!. The lonelyness is now beyond and there is
now a hope showing up. And the Lords mouth is opened wide. This is an
Angel of the most desireable kind. He offers bliss. He reminds about Zalaktil
and Parakati. He smiles and shows me the visitcard of the true null. The
emblem of Death.
It gets even more silent, but also more golden. And yes, of course Silence
is Golden.
I see a pyramid shape placed upon a shelf - it is slowly sinking.
I also see three weird chinese masks eating some black matter.
I remain in his blissful silence for a long time, satisfied, none of us
feeling the need of altering this place of peace.
I**I*I**I***I*I**II
Talu is the chakhra of this aethyr. Its situated in/behind the nose.
It promotes awareness and silence.
A couple of nights later I am revisited by the Eagle of this Aethyr.
He presented himself as Heru Khu. (Not Ra Heru Khuit - just Heru Khu).
It repeats itself; the alignment of his black body with the black void
results in a light unexplainable.
I later also get meeting with the Sphinx.
*I*I*II*II*I*I**I
LIN
6th Oct 91
Before I start this working I plan to just call Ozidaia to ask about
the structure of the Aethyr; and the role of the governors, but before
I get that far, I understand (?) that Paraoan is the Angel of the Aethyr
and Kalzirg and Lazdixr are brothers.
While I read the call, I notice nothing particularly.
But on tuning into the aethyr, I see iinstanly that someone is holding
the crystal ball. It seems to be a bear with his claws carefully attached
to the ball, effectively blocking any entrance to it.
"Oh be thou me". I become the Bear, and holds it the same way
as him. It opens - and wow I am into an Earth of mirrors ! Every atom
is mirroring eachother here. But it wasnt of earth, it is now of the Air.
Something Black and ugly appears. Death. I greet it welcome.
........
This seems now to be completely void, but it shows up to be a wheel .
OZIDAIA:
A triangle is shown as a mountain with a white peak.
"Querosato seki hanoa, del taniz separanta soki nasthol derim otavasa.
Kenia kolonoci geria es talim vota hesitinaka eripa dorianos hes sojim.
Vel tanos seki da lama setina oriapata ker va lokos anastika.
Kerim vatim-mosa selip al etino okesa ieta anoka. Dorim pesitax el dorim
artho est siki he virim. Esita lebaton don eti ar tamis vesikini sesia
hosina derim li el to saniaki. Goria. Dor ta Perim."
Owl - raven blackness eating itself - or something which simply isnt.
"The mystery of Lin is hard to penetrate - as you see.
This is the representation of All, the turningpoint. God."
I see a knife whose blade looks like a sail. Its thin and hard and reminds
me somehow of a banner.
I was right; Paraoan is the master of this place, Lazdixr, the black hand
while Kalzirg the white.
Paraoan is approaching with a great golden robe, and his eyes cannot be
looked at - it blends me completely.
I cut my forehead with this knife and creates a tunnel of ajna where the
water rushes in floating free and purges it.
He shows me a pyramid form with a cut top, and on the top is I find the
two triangles of Water and Fire, apex within apex. And He marks my forehead
(ajna) with this hexagram pyramid. He asks me to come back saying this
is the place where the crossing can start, and its also a place where
tasks can be given.
I request words for the symbol:
Pesita: (The passive fire)
Paraseg says: Soko ma (Reigners fall)
Paraketi says : Errta vissthal (seems like understanding)
So koma. (visiting the frame)
And its vanishing centre is elucidated by the heavy going.
I leave.
Comments: The sigil of the interlacing symbol of the trigrams of Fire
and Water are classic. And they might be seen by others as well. As the
gnostics for millenium have preached the baptism of Fire and Water as
essential. The interpretation as the hexgram of passive Fire is not so
classic, in fact its modern: I received it a year before and used it to
scry in the elemental world of passive fire.
The words received here to accompany are not classic either but personal.
These words may also be interpreted as a formula that makes consciousness
leave the essence and go to its empty frame instead. I am here speaking
of the I ; the eye; the illumination and the not I. These make up identity,
the I and the self.
The passive fire is Holy to me and my HGA and this symbolism given must
be regarded as personal.
I do some work with this formula and does also call the names of the fallen
that I received earlier. I got meagre result to write, and as consequence
my general blissful and happy period here was temporarily broken by these
works. However I do think they strengthened my link to Binah and I saw
also my shadow as well as I could do. There is to say, that he now -12
years after isnt that ugly. The formula or any corresponding ones should
be used between Lin and Asp, not in the middle of Lin. And make no mistake
! Dont accept the basement of your spiritual house as the place to live.
Ajna is the chakhra of this aethyr.
27 Oct 91.
It shines brightfully up as I read the call and I see fast the hands
embracing the crystal ball. Then it pauses. I am greeted welcome and told
that OZIDAIA is the first governor.
"Quench the flames of sickness, the everbecoming silence is not silence.
Everything is the same here, every particle of light is blacness in itself
as opposite. The brothers happily conjoined.".
This time I understand that Paraoan isnt even a regular governor herein,
but the primary Angel of the Aethyr.
" Be aware, Low yourself, your awareness shall be piercing. The Light
betrays itself and you as well." .. and Paraoan is close.
"Paraoan neki varanti eca hubaio dalapi sekin norezod sakil.
And the joy is no joy, this is pure mystic bliss.
I see something which suddenly tries to cover the crystal, a serpent coils
around it, but it fails, it tries again and fails. I dont know what this
means.
I call KALZIRG. There enters a confusion and I believe I have called the
wrong governor or just too soon. I try to resume, and sees the mystic
fog all over, I become the grossness, seeing the symbol written upon the
pyramid and sees it fly through the aethyr.
I call upon Paraoan again reflects upon the meaning of his name that I
sually seea as para > fire and Oan >eye, but now I also see the
possibility of pa > being , ra > regret, oan > eye; being the
eye of regret, and I hear:
"Paraoan del sapi om deriom o ta beti olianis. Sel da koti hobio
es talami gor e barom Boro eta itiena el tare vota sekin os ta keni olianis.
Beria zen zol ol Paratz ek orrin zam ethil do keni saqua. Ger ta ebrim
os telin vethik orripa peni sati ger talami. Beria do quanis."
And wow - this is perplexingly beautiful. My head is filled by a most
desirous blank, and I am the eye again. Closed. Or fully open. There are
no images here, but beauty. And there is noone here.
"Aga stral delin vethik himal es Baratz cos kerin dol altari delina
ves otapa keria. Gor ma saki."
I understand that through the opening of this Eye is death and "birth"
of that which is never born but still goes forth.
The divided splits and falls flat, wholesome is something else than the
parts.
The eye of regret contains no regret, but regret made it, or surrounds
it and consumes what comes to close. I see Paraoan as a gentle man dressed
in a robe of red and yellow stripes, he wears further this triangular
hat over his head that is still impossible to see. But as I look, his
face is a gate, the triangular hat the portal; (to the only true death
I have ever experienced; samadhi; the illumination. My conscousness is
touched directly unlike all the other deaths I have met.) I cant pass
him, everytime I try to, I am lost, devoured by the light. Here is the
Most Mysterious Master.
KALZIRG:
"Hominasa zen so ob berim tol la Keti as ke coro et vasi".
A shining bright solar symbol is projected into ajna, and something is
immediately opened.
Kalzirg ges , a mesi den obim co keria zen (es) dakil etaram. Beria boria
otim sen. Hem bor ta venik otasa.
Kalzirg is absolutely a very different person, seems more reasonable,
colder, blacker but very sympatic.
His influence seems to be about the direction of the eye, ajna.
LAZDIXR:
The hands touches the eye again.
"When One shall contain the results of the seen, it is then needed
to open in order to create the seen.
So, here we go:"
A gate is opened into a - wall. The wall is translucent and behind is
a jungle.
Suddenly the Tablet of Nalvage appears, and I see four lines spiraling
out from its centre:
And I understand its refering to words to be picked out.
"The tablet of Nalvage is also a "jokers" tablet. The madness
contained therein is for the dead cordziz. (reasonable man). The betrayal
of reason is a crime of dimension."
I now suddenly sees the connection between Hadit and The Magus ( and his
project as described in Liber B) and then the Man of reason mentioned
in the Aethyr call; cordziz. That man of reason and his death is a magickal
work. (This I now see is parallell to Maats uniculum)
"And KNOW that the eye is the I.".
"The names of the choir .....
This part is covered in my page on The tablet of Nalvage. I was given
a lot of names and it also continued in several workings.
Comm: This little piece of work maybe doesnt say much, but its essential
in my work and can still be researched further. Remember that the Tablet
of Nalvage is the tablet of God. And that Dean Hildebrandt found God to
be a local entity. Plus that the tablet of the AF is connected herein.
And that is the point of development for new gnosis. I have already experienced
that these forces of Casseiopeia are foundational to consciousness, and
therefore will the AFs be the focuspoint in the quest to bring about knowledge
about the triple Ains of the Tree of Life.
To be more concrete about my statements: As I have experienced the local
white dwarf Sirius B to be exeptionally influental in the creation of
the solidity of our egos, I have got reasons to understand that there
are other sources of influence which are just as strong, and that they
are likely to be rooted in a physical phenomena as well. I dont know the
stars of cassiopeia at all yet, but I have done some scrying on the planets
that Dean came up with. However early on with the AF`s I was struck by
a current that created consciousness itself like a beam of light, and
it was moved. This little moment is probably something of most shocking
moment I have had in magick, but it was very clear, and I felt that it
was very meant to happen, that I should know about this.
What physical causes there can be in this constellation I have no idea
about. I have heard nothing remarkable about this constellation, but these
results points to that there must be some phenomena other that regular
stars. Black hole maybe. Possibly some weird gazeous things. But also
the scrying about the planets told me that here are the proofs of the
Meon ideas of Kenneth Grant. The gateways are there. And I dont recommend
any work with those except for the devoted.
However this constellation is important for the earth and obviously much
of vitality is fetched from this field. The structures and set ups of
the AF are described enough to that one can sort out what could be suitable
for ones interest and level of adeptship.
I was surprised to be presented with these new names for that tablet,
but then I could also by reading the circumstances of Dee and Kellys receiving
see that there were so much fuss in that session, that they may have missed
vital parts already planned.
Upon reading the vision and the voice I see that this is also the Aethyr
where the Beast are to commit the Holy table to memory (and heart). He
says a lot of sensible things about that construction, but not really
what its about. But the Holy Table is the tablet of the Beast; the solar
beast of the revelation. Its the central solar force in the table of practice
that is steering the bonorum and its angels that are planetary. Its natural
that he commits this to memory, without labeling it. I think he was the
beast so much that he was blind to the forces of this tablet. To me; the
Holy Table is a reservoir of LLLL; cunningly and diligently distributed
by the one archetypal sunbeast, whose access to is made by insistance
and love.
The period after LIN was filled by the most blessed cotton light and
extacies ever. Samadhi was easy to enter and my consciousness was often
just erased by bliss. The egyptian God which naturally showed up here
was Hoor paar Kraat. The impulse of "I am what I am" collapsed
completely as the perplexion of union was the only thing to remain. Here
was found something truly mystic, something that always will defy articulation,
and still inspire the attempts to. And everyone can get to this true and
Holy Place, if they just care to do some serious work.
I also experienced the wedding. The personas of the Chalice and the Wand
comes together to create their child. These are anima and animus; Hod
and Netzach. They are always your ideal couple.
The technique is simple; visualize them in your body; as your right and
left side. Have you done the work of the wand and the chalice properly;
the connections will be obvious and the work is natural pleasure. This
is also the place where orgasms are extended as long as you would care
to. Half an hour should At Least be tried. It is the mixture
of the sweetest pleasure and the agony of pleasure reaching far over the
the top and bottom. This technique sorts out the master of you. And that
is the clue. Who survives this extremity ? This total focus on the most
desirous thing ever ?
This is the place to put all ressources into the HGA quest. Continue with
Liber samekh, and all personal calls and formulaes, use formulas begotten
with the wand and chalice and do very well also mix them with imagery
of your most prefered sexual desires. Because when you finally says: THIS
IS IT; there shall be no doubt left, no option untried, no other place
you would be, than exactly IT.
Love, devotion and surrender is the formula, but Love devotion and NO
surrender is the false formula that takes you highest. For surrendering
to the second best is not the aim.
Thats what I did, and even if the HGA will continue with mysteries and
also being mystic, the contact with the right one is then duly established.
And it was during this period when I suddenly saw my illumination show
this hole in the reality that it is. The unknown factor. The turningpoint.
It must also be said that the technique of visualizing anima and animus
in the body having sex, was told me by Osman. Also that it led to extensive
and serial orgasms. I guess i wouldnt have figured out that myself. Also;
its not nessecary to masturbate, you can actually do it everywhere : )
*I*I**II*I*
5 dec 91.
ASP
As I read the call I am confronted with silent might. Awesome.
I see the two hands fold around the lower part of the globe, and the face
bends to drink of the hands. It gets dark again, impenetrable blackness,
heavy veils. But the light is suddenly enkindled again and I hear:
"Come in, you frame; 15 months for sowing seeds."
I understand that my expectations are right, herein one becomes the frame
of the eye.
KHIRZPA:
"20 years have gone since the night of him who broke his tongue".
Khirzpa is a large and powerful presence, he approaches me and surrounds
me somehow. I feel things are opening more.
" Come in and take note of the living serpent, benefits are taken
thereof."
"Menias noco marima vel otasa kenia don tares. Mol tana errta goria
zen ospa der onosen siki dalameti pokin ner atin."
The darkness is pushed aside, much like a door. A light shines faintly
and reveals itself as a distant spiral-fog of light. (Spiral galaxy).
The Serpent occurs and I am aligned with it, we both open our mouths as
to bite simoustanely. The serpent is a pure and innocent animal.
A sternly shining person approaches walking with authoritative steps.
He pulls off his human mask and reveals the face of the Hawk, divided
like a eagle matched with a cock; that which I have seen when my HGA workings
have gone far enough. I am astonished, and just have further into those
alien eyes which are the sole source of identity.
"PON NOCO MAL, Her Mataz kil sekin dooain." ( The divided servant
of the arrow, the division of the blinding thunderbolt; thats my face.)
He disappear and the stage is set to something else.
TOANTOM
A bright light enkindles, but it is circular and becomes eventually a
hand. Its placed to left of me but it represents a right hand. The left
hand occurs too, and they join and they united touch my head. I am lost
in imagery. Beautiful landscapes passes through my my mind. I feel all
memories come close and the continuation of my history is easy to get
here.
The grim left hand occurs again .....
Sunrise is getting close. I spot my inner light far in front of me.
The right hand, burning and bright.
Suddenly I see the landscape again. But this time as the remnants scorched
by hell. Its dramatically beautifully, and disgusting as well.
"Withheld are the premises for you. For thy sake, 70 breaks and withhold
are mine."
I see the eagle hawk as the good symbol of my duality in unity, and of
course this is the ways of SetHorus.
The shake of Hands equals me, my light. It all is embodied in this symbol.
But now as the Brothers (the hands) have become one, the line have become
substantial, and I have become its frame which is the body. This leads
to the distinction between the body and spirit.
VIXPALG:
"Cursed are the twins in their union, for their lust is satisfied,
and you are now what you wanted to be.
Etamarasik elio nasar vethik iniava, dol nitiak zam entar dantar ventar
igpal. Kenia moroso. Bim nokost om nelim el va etaram, gonostral tikare
veria den otast. Soba reti soba donoki.
I feel slightly fooled to have entered this far, as I understand that
I now have to spend time to refocus and accept the great change of my
life that this implies. I just see that the journey is over so far.
I also understand that the term black star (donoki) is also used about
the presence found here.
I*I*I*I*
Comments:
I never understood those sentences with numbers here.
The period which followed this Aethyr were spendt with the K & C of
the HGA. One of his first words was "I can do without you, but you
cant do without me !". We can see that this tells clearly of the
hierarchy between us. And it seems disgusting as long as the viewpoint
is directed against that figure, because when the relationship is established,
consciousness switches between being the listener and the speaker, and
as the speaker one suddenly starts seing the greater schemes.
There were also a lot of work starting in this period. I did a table called
PIR TOL which I will make a page on. Its relevant to the moon and the
Priestess of the Silver Star.
The communication was not easy, he refused to be some chap speaking trivialities,
but he kept his input in mystic and symbolic language, and he seemed to
have been created in old times. I have later understood that it was much
about the future, and processes to come. I dont think things would have
gone so ok, if he hadnt warned me, and presented those mystical pieces,
which later suddenly were understood, and I endured the passages without
trying to regress.
5th Jan 1992
KHR
The crystal globe grows. There is a light and I sense a vulnarability
within me.
A female voice whispers "come in, come in." I find the night
blue heaven clear and silent over a pond. As I look closer I see there
is a malstroem within this pond. I go closer and sees the water whirl
downwards, towards the centre. I feel the mixture of mourning and relief.
As the water rushes downwards I see the spirit is slowly arising, winding
its way above the centre of of the malstroem. The spirit is of air, of
Nuit. Purified and dignified spirit.
(I remember that I have seen this picture and process before somewhere,
I think it was as I was passing from yesod to Hod.)
I realize that I cant go inwards anymore, the way is to assimilate outwards.
One is ejected from the Holy and silent chamber. This Aethyr is ruled
by Nuit or some angel of her qualities.
ZILDRON:
A person occurs and he withdraws the whole circle of the aethyr and transforms
it into a bowl. He keeps it by one hand and by the other he have a wand.
This wand he puts into the bowl that is a mortar and starts crushing herbs.
The goodbye feeling is terrible here. Every aethyr untill now have been
designed to penetrate, but not here. I am slowly transformed into a the
circle of the aethyr, and feels its going, its as travelling into the
world with the back facing the unknown. The unknown meets the unknown.
I see a gigantic figure standing in the middle of the Aethyr. It shows
me a black knife. I dont know what meaning it has got, and looks pretty
ordinary, apart that the blade isnt curved and its tip is straight cut
- so its blunt.
PARZIBA:
"Erita mel tani gag bimol setino variano ketino dil-danis vethik
boronti katiano saveni letina voti sa ketio marado von da ke satva.
The figure of the centre has changed or given the space for a windmill,
apart that it is taller and white and that its propel is 4 based and curved.
It also looks like a light house, gigantic and placed upon a mountain.
But it blows - mighty winds and it pushes me outwards- out of myself.
But I feel i am the same. It blinks from the centre and at same time it
happens in my self. There as here.
"Governor of the 5th fire - work well."
I stand still and starts understanding my duties to get integrated in
the world as to integrate it in myself. The landscape become a little
island while the air and me increases accordinly. I feel I am leaving
the Aethyr, so I am calling the last governor, before this happens.
TOTOCAN:
Bolm Li! Argata snek si men. El vatha dom kethar es calina gedin orpa
veni geliosa. Orvata keni veni zisa oth dal pethar.
I see a nest of of birdlings stretching their necks with open mouths waiting
to get fed. The whole nest is falling swift into an abyss. I see the futility
of desire.
The governor keeps a fresh yolk in his hand.
He now keeps this in a serving dish with a silver top. He opens and closes
it. The bewildered desire. To take it or not.
I am out the aethyr, and feels that I am coming out on the other side
of that I entered. But I recall I have seen the whole from the same angle
and left where I came.
The work with the receiving of I ged starts a few days later - 9th.
Appendix :
From my archives: e-mail to enochian list : 21-6-1998
93 !
The Olive Model .
During my work with enochia I have made the following model based upon
my work with the mentioned aethyrs. The great thing about this model is
that it combines the structure of the lower Aethyrs-30th - 20th with the
sephiroth and this third symbol that is very easy to grasp the qualities
of . Before I went through these aethyrs I worked in connection with only
the sephiroth and managed to get a clear understanding of my relation
to these, so that I easily saw the correspondences between these models.
But the central idea; that the Olive is a model of a individs microcosm
have I received from some of Enochian spirits - I just cant remember whom.
The skin > Malkuth > TEX.
The fruit > Yesod > RII - BAG.
The nut > Hod > ZAA- DES.
The seed > Netzach > UTI- NIA.
The axis > Tiphareth> TOR- LIN- ASP- KHR.
Comments:
The skin > Malkuth > TEX.
Malkuth; the virgin; represents ideally the unexperienced human that only
uses the purely physical perceptions, and is unaware of any spiritual
or energetized reality. A such human lives in a nearly objective world
where everything can be measured and touched. TEX doesnt really exist
upon that level, but pulls one out from that level.
I would also like to say that fewer people than before remains in the
state of malkuth, even if they use no spiritual tools.
The fruit > Yesod > RII - BAG.
Yesod wakes up the flow and myriads of impulses, emotions and makes one
sensitive to the energies of ritual magick and the astral level. (The
latter depends also upon a certain care of taking in use those techniques.)
This is followed with an increase of pride and SELF-feeling. The Moon
correspond to yesod, which is also seen as the reflective self as opposed
to the I ; the sun.
The nut > Hod > ZAA- DES.
Hod is the hard nut to crack, as here there is no sense but mainly logic
(disconnected from any aim or lust of result when properly into the zone),
the sense of self disappears to the advantage of the more cynic - which
allows one to think without caring about the personal view - one may learn
to take any view !
Zone of Mercury.
Magick doesnt function well when into this disillutionating sphere, as
most energy gets transformed to the non-visionary current that seemed
to be the environment for the separatist and solipsist abiding here. But
things gets better in DES.
The seed > Netzach > UTI- NIA.
Netzach is a sphere sembling the great and brutal force of the seed that
has got a united and single will, to become ; - fulfilled as a complete
being. This will is then the personal as a single individual as opposed
to that of chokhmah.
The seeds divine spark > Tiphareth> TOR- LIN- ASP- KHR.
This sphere is larger than all the other and have got more complexities
and also possibilities.
Plus that it also have got a true mystery that defys verbalisation; the
Hga's open spot - open and devoid of anything that can be said to be anything
else than the unknown factor.
93 93
93
Runar
Something on the nature of the Aethyrs and the project of the 91 parts
of the Earth.
Also Jerry Schuelers description of the aethyrs are in concordance with
ACs and mine. Despite his Lewellyn publications have lots of flaws, even
errors of style, and suffers from the lack of study of lots of the original
material, his writings on the Aethyrs have always made a lot of sense
to me and still do. Its found in one of the two first books of his. Never
mind his crap. I think lots of people got so furious at him, because they
believed everything he said and then experienced that there was a lot
more to reality, and felt cheated. But actually It was Ben Rowes campaigne
that stirred most of the fury, as BR had an agenda that he didnt completely
understand. As committed to the heritage of Achad and his dissolution
of the hierarchy of the tree of life, he also was vehemently against the
idea of the Aethyrs as a possible way of initiation - and that in particular
from the bottom and upwards . And dont ask me why, if I understood that,
I would have told him. I now assume he was unconsciously devoted to the
prinsciple of descent; the Luciferian current; Xeper if you like, but
wasnt completely aware about those details, so he became obsessed by his
own focuspoint and its ways of manifestations and then protected all these
as they kept his prime source of vitality. If he had been fully aware
of his own viewpoint, he would also had seen the limitations of his view
and that Enochian magick is so complex, that we must have quite a lot
of clever people to study and practice it before we can with assurance
say " Enochian magick is so and so"; meaning: "and its
a fact of nature that will apply to all sane individuals".
However, the claim from the GD and AC, of which Jerry Schueler is part
of, can be formulated as this:
The Aethyrs are the only full initiationsystem that is public.
I find this point very valuable. But obviously more study and practice
must be done before anyone can formulate exactly the premises or conditions
as to when does it work this way. People are different, have different
motives wills and needs, and there have never been a problem for humans
to be ignorant.
Ben Rowe claimed that most of ACs result derived from his expectancy
of how they functioned. (Of which I disagree to any possible bitter end.)
He ended his own aethyr records by Lea (16th) and left a note somewhere
that it was impossible to get out of the trap of expectancy for even himself.
However His aethyr experiences are also an attempt to revive the alternate
use of them; the 91 parts of the world. This was a part of the project
that didnt come out as well as the rest as the parts was given in the
name of the nations existing then. I dismissed this stuff already in 1989
as a failed work of Dee and Kelly. However the idea is good enough, if
just the parts are corresponding. I thought this project was best left
resting untill someone was given any updates, or if there should be no
corrections then obviously there should be some names to fit in with the
Americas and all the other undiscovered parts of the earth at Dees time.
The idea of letting the parts correspond to a evenly parted earth by longitudes
and latitudes seems at once very nice, but on closer examination, we see
that this pattern is tied up with the geographic poles and not the magnetic
which would be more inline with the idea of a magickal system giving access
to the energetic realities of local parts of the earth.
But then evenly distributed doesnt make enough sense, as most of the people
that are slightly sensitive have noticed the earth energies are changes
in accordance with the tectonic plates. The muslims claim their land as
holy muslim earth, and the little look at relevant map shows that they
have actually got a own plate, nearly for themselves, yes nearly for themselves.
The nations affects local reality very much. I cant say if its stronger
or weaker than the earth currents, but they affect different levels and
mechanisms. The state currents are of course made for people so they do
hit as effectively as possible.
Also, states tend to become created in accordance with territory and its
currents. We could many places say that nations are the signs and symptoms
of the local earth influence. Where nations have been created the ruler,
we can see the results of the lack of concern; war is likely to follow.
(F.x. India.)
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