Mature Living

The new height/weight charts published by insurance companies prove that most people are about six inches too short. (September l995)

One mystery of life is why people in a waiting room ask if the empty seat beside you is occupied. (September l995)

With will power you do what you want to do when you don't want to do it. (September l995)

It's not the minutes we spent at the table that put on weight. It's the seconds (September l995)

True power lies in the had that holds the TV remote control. (Sept.96)

The new VCRs are so easy to program we no longer need the grandkids to do it for us. (Sept. 96)

The information highway is paved with good inventions. (July 97)

Progress is wonderful, isn't it? In earlier times when offspring needed money, they
either wrote home or telephoned collect. Now they e-mail. (Aug.97)

Happiness isn't a "buy product". (March 97)

If at first you don't succeed, you're like most of the rest of us. (March 97)

Money can be lost in more ways than won. (March 97)

Youth is when you think you'll live forever. Old age is when you wonder how you've lived so long. (Feb. 97)

Money will buy a pedigree cat, but only love and kindness will make it purr. Feb. 97)

Truce is better than fiction. (Jan.97)

Travel broadens a person. So do bedtime snacks. (May 97)

If we are what we eat, why aren't we new, improved, fat-free, and light. (May 97)

Whoever coined the phrase "pretty as a picture" evidently had never seen a driver's license. (May 97)

Many trees could be saved if the government stopped printing tax forms. (April 98)

I try to figure my adjusted gross income, but no matter how I figure it, it's still gross. (April 98)

Early to bed and early to rise and you miss all those late-night TV infomercials. (April 98)

Opportunity isn't always recognized because it sometimes comes dressed in work clothes. (May 98)

A life without laughter is like a car without shock absorbers. (May 98)

Many people fail because their wishbones are where their backbones ought to be. (June 98)

Those who stretch the truth usually find it snaps back. (June 98)

Laughter is great medicine for what ails you, and there are only good side effects.( July l998)

A chip on the shoulder can become a heavy load.( July 1998)

Parents expect their children to be as good as they meant to be. ( July l998)

I am surprised how many people can't count to 10. They usually are the ones ahead of me in the supermarket express lanes. (August 1998)

Following a vacation most of us are behind on our bills, but way ahead on calories. (August 1998)

Nostalgia buffs should be advised that Memory Lane, like other roads these days, is full of potholes. (August 1998)

Smart people speak from experience. Smarter people from experience don't speak. (September 1998)

Many people are always in debt because they can't do without things they don't need. (September 1998)

Telling all you know is as bad as believing all you hear (October 1998)

There is no time like the pleasant. (October 1998)

Jumping to conclusions is not as good an exercise as digging for facts. (Nov. 1998 )

Never judge a book by a movie of the same name. (Dec.98)

Pleasing others is easy. All you have to do is listen and nod your head. (Dec.98)

The flu season accounts for the three stages of sickness: ill, pill, bill. (Dec.98)

Diet and exercise can help overweight people break the pound barrier. (Jan.99)

Character is something a person has or is. (Jan.99)

Anyone who can still do at 65 what he was doing at 25 wasn't doing much at 25. (Feb.99)

Time is a wonderful healer, but a poor beautician. (Feb.99)

Never judge a city by its postcards. (Feb.99)

To stay youthful, stay useful (March 99)

There's nothing wrong with the younger generation that 20 years won't cure (March 99)

If the world is getting smaller, why do postal rates keep going up? (March 99)

Calories don't count; they multiply (April 1999)

In some families, the problems are relative. (April 1999)

After all is said and done, more is said than done. (May 1999)

A perfect June day is when the sun is shining, a soft breeze is blowing, birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.(June 1999)

This is the time of the year when people get out and dig in the dirt - some with a garden hoe, others with a golf club. (June 1999)

The shortcoming of some house guests is their long-staying. (September 1999 )

Tons of regret never make an ounce of difference. (September 1999 )

Tomorrow is the longest day of the week, judging from all the things we intend to do then. (Oct.99)

A stitch in time saves embarrassment. (November 1999)

More diets originate in clothing stores than in doctors' offices. (November 1999)

Political promises go in one year and out the other. (November 1999)

In today's world, there is nothing more complicated than trying to lead a simple life. (December 1999)

The amount of sleep the average person needs is about an hour more (December 1999)

The trouble with the future is that it's getting here faster than it used to.(January 2000)

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets. (January 2000)

We can't do anything about our ancestors, but we can try to influence our descendants. (Feb. 2000)

Always drive as if you were a passenger in the other car. (Feb. 2000)

It's always darkest before daylight savings time. (March 2000)

Tips for making a speech: Be sincere, be brief, and be seated. (March 2000)

Some people are as easy to read as the top line of an eye chart. (August 2000)

People who have a lot to say shouldn't use their cell phones in restaurants and theaters to do so. (August 2000)

One nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people. (August 2000)

High prices don't bother some people. They just charge right ahead. (October 2000)

Now that vacation bills are paid, it's time to think about Christmas presents. (Nov.2000)

Sixty is a wonderful age, especially if you're 70. (Nov.2000)

Most people who drive like they own the road, don't even own the car. (Nov.2000)

Enough money is just a little more than you have.( February 2001)

These days two can live as cheaply as one large family used to. (Mar. 2001)

Take things as they come - if you can handle them that fast. (Mar. 2001)

Hot heads and cold hearts solve nothing. (April 2001)

It's amazing how fast "later" comes after you "buy now". (May 2001)

You never know what you can do without until you try. (June 2001)

The three stages of life are: youth, middle age, and "You're looking great!" (October 2001)

Money will buy a pedigree cat, but only love and kindness will make it purr.(March 2002)

Tourist itinerary : Wander list (June 2002)