The True Adventures Of Lionel Trousers Super-Spy!
Episode One - The European Terror

Story by Mick Hayes and Dene O'Neill

Script by Dene O'Neill

Mick Hayes played:
Lionel Trousers
Miss Dowdy
Sparks
Announcer
Bungle
Ensign Bottom
Bert Nadger
Matron Doubledee

Dene O'Neill played:
Norbert Pratt
Kitty Litier
Milo Vanilli
The Chief
French Agent
Station Announcer

Effects Recording: Dene O'Neill

Foley Recording: Mick Hayes and Dene O'Neill

Sound Editing and Mixing: Dene O'Neill

Mastered by Mick Hayes and Dene O'Neill

Miss Dowdy's heels by Kristine Norevik O'Neill (6)

At the start of the war, young Lionel was evacuated to Coventry. There he survived some of the most intense bombing carried out by the enemy. Returning home in a nervous state he finds that his parents had drowned in their beds when heavy rains flooded their home-made air-raid shelter.

They were Lumley-St.-Crowe's only casualties of the war.

Shattered, Lionel is taken in by his auntie Vi (Violet Jelly), but he soon runs away to join the army. Unfortunately, attempts to lie about his age go terribly wrong and he spends the next six months back in infant school.
Pressured by his aunt to get an education, Lionel enrolls at the L.S.E. He takes a part-time job waiting tables at the Cheeky Sailor in London's soho. There, he is spotted by his Chief-to-be who is taken by the cut of Lionel's jib.

He joins Naval Intelligence at age seventeen.

Totally misunderstanding his Chief 's sexual overtures he avoids buggery and rises quickly through the ranks to become England's youngest Captain of Intelligence Operations.

1951: After rescuing her from a ferocious duck attack in Hyde Park, Lionel falls in love with Hermione Bins. There's talk of marriage. Sadly though, the sweet, yet gluttonous girl, chokes to death on the engagement ring that Lionel has hidden in her chocolate sundae. The stricken young man develops a hatred for all things Italian.

Captain Trousers now throws himself into his work, taking on only the most dangerous assignments.

The rest is history.

Hardware:

Recorded on TDK DA-XRG DAT tape/Sony Walkman TCD-D8 at 48 kHz.

Electro Voice RE50 Dynamic Omnidirectional Microphone.

Sony MDR-D33 headphones.

PC running Windows 98SE with a 433Mhz Celeron processor and 256 Mb RAM.

Creative SB Live! 1024 sound card.

Cambridge Soundworks SBS52 multimedia speakers.

Mastering monitored using Onkyo A/V Tuner Amplifier R1 and Monitor Audio MA 800 speakers.

Software:

Written using Final Draft 4.1.8a screenplay software from B.C. software.

Edited with Sound Forge 4.5 software from Sonic Foundry, at 44.100 kHz./16 bit stereo.

Mixed with Nuendo 1.5 software from Steinberg, at 44.100 kHz./16 bit stereo.

Waves and T.C. plugins.

Mastered with T RackS 1.1 software from IK Multimedia Production.